lodessa | Grey's Anatomy Post

Grey's Anatomy Birthday fic
Pairing: Cristina/Burke
Word Count: 1106

When Burke asks her what her birthday is, Cristina tells him that she doesn't celebrate it. He doesn't contest this statement; instead, he just tells her when his birthday is. She isn't sure exactly what she's supposed to do with this information. She hates how Burke does this, the whole functional relationship, and being interested in the parts of her that she's fairly convinced that normal females would like their boyfriends to do. It's like playing a card game that everyone else knows the rules to by heart, but she has never played before. Of course she is going to make mistakes, and Cristina doesn't like making mistakes. She also doesn't like admitting she doesn't know what she's supposed to do. This is why she usually tries to slip these admissions in, right after or during Meredith's bemoaning the latest development with McDreamy.

"Burke told me when his birthday is. Am I supposed to do something with that?" Cristina breaks in, about 5 minutes into Meredith's tirade about McDreamy's choosing her to scrub in, or not choosing her to scrub in; she has long since stopped thinking it matters which one it is.

The look that Meredith gives her, when she finally reacts instead of going on about McDreamy, reminds Cristina once again that she is really the only one without a score sheet on this.

"What? Am I supposed to get him a present? Is there some sort of sexual thing with birthdays I'm supposed to know about?"

"I was going to take Derek out on a boat for his birthday." Meredith says glumly, returning to her favorite topic.

"I mean the last time we tried to do the whole special occasion thing it was a gigantic mess..."

"I had it all planned out, down to the bottle of wine."

"And it's not like I can just ask him because I'm just supposed to magically know, which is ridiculous considering how particular Burke is."

"Cristina?"

"What?"

"He loves you."

"And?"

"He's going to appreciate whatever you end up doing, just so long as it's clear you cared enough to make an effort."

Cristina shook her head," That's not good enough Meredith. It has to be the right thing. I don't want him just to condescend to be pleased because I put in effort or whatever. I'm Cristina Yang... I have to be better than that."

"You live with the man Cristina. You must have some idea."

Meredith's pager goes off before Cristina can respond, and she's left sitting against the wall on her own. Then she remembers that Meredith's complaint today was that McDreamy hadn't chosen her to scrub in, which means that Cristina was supposed to be scrubbing in about 5 minutes from now.

It's been months since Burke first told Cristina that he loved her, while he thought she was sleeping. Recently she's become fairly certain that he knows she's not asleep when he says it anymore, and she's even beginning to guess that he hasn't been asleep either when she's whispered it back. Cristina suspects that Alex and Izzie having been telling each other it outright for a while now, when they think no one is looking. All this gives Cristina that horrible feeling of not knowing the answer on a really important exam. Sometimes she really misses her apartment with its unpacked boxes and familiar dysfunction.

When Cristina gets home, Burke is making dinner. Cristina once asked him where he learned to cook and he told her that his parents had often worked late so he'd been responsible for making dinner. He didn't say it in the beleaguered way that Alex had, when he'd been asked the same question a few weeks before. As far as Cristina can tell, Burke doesn't have any secret pain that he wants her to fix. It is one of his redeeming qualities, one that makes up for some of the more uncomfortable aspects of his freakish state of perfect mental health. He eyes the cake box, which Cristina places on the counter before taking off her coat, with interest though.

"I thought you didn't celebrate birthdays." he says with a half smile.

"I don't celebrate MY birthday. Other people's birthdays are fair game." she tells him.

Burke seems pleased with this, and Cristina thinks that possibly he whispers "I love you" into her hair now, while she's fully awake, but that could just be her paranoia.

When Cristina takes out the cake at the stroke of twelve, Burke looks perplexed and Cristina feels like maybe it's a misstep, but figures it is too late to change plans now. So she explains, "My family always celebrated birthdays the moment they started."

And Burke's face lights up. Perhaps it not such a misstep after all, except Cristina sort of worries that he's going to expect some sort of opening up about her childhood now. He doesn't though, just like he never tells her he loves her in a way that she would be forced to respond to.

He seems to appreciate that Cristina special ordered the cake without frosting; he mentioned a dislike for it when they went to the party Izzie threw for Alex's birthday. She pulls out a tub of frosting and frosts her own piece; perhaps she really is learning how to cohabitate. Burke gets up and gets something out of the living room.

"I'm pretty sure that on your birthday I'm supposed to get you a present and not the other way around." Cristina tells him, when he puts the package in front of her.

"Well since I'm not allowed to celebrate your birthday, you'll have to let me celebrate mine however I decide... and if I decide I want to get you something that's within my rights."

Cristina can almost feel Burke cringe at the careless way that she rips the wrapping paper.

"You always complain that the ones we have don't fit right in your hands." Burke tells her, as she opens the box inside and finds a shiny new coffee mug. Only Burke would think to gift wrap a coffee mug; Cristina thinks, not without judgment. Of course, only Burke would have taken her complaints about the mugs seriously and eliminated their cause.

In bed later, Cristina asks if he's still awake. He answers that yes he is.

"I love you." She tells him with the knowledge that he can hear her.

********

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