lodessa: lol (Default)
Finally gave up on trying to update the old masterlist.   It is all on AO3 now anyway. 

lodessa: lol (Default)
Robert Beltran/Kate Mulgrew



lodessa: lol (firefly/serenity)
So far, April has been a pretty great month.

April 3rd was the first day of spring break and I held my most successful Seder to date. Pretty much everyone showed up, we had some great discussions, and the food turned out well.  I've been working on this for about five years, training a group of mostly non-jews in the tradition, working on the logistics, and I feel like it is finally paying off.  For once, I didn't get to that point in the middle of the seder where you regret having decided to do it and can't wait for it to be over.  That said, my mom and I did have a ridiculous argument at the end of the night, because we were both exhausted.

On the 7th, the husband and I departed for Hawaii on a belated honeymoon.  It was beautiful and warm and relaxing and I am looking forward to getting to a point in our lives where we can go on vacation on a regular basis.  I also finally started on Way of Kings. Needless to say neither of us wanted to go home when the time came on the 13th.  

Last weekend I had a really nice afternoon with my dad and siblings on Saturday and then Sunday I had a very fangirl day.  I had another great multi hour brunch with [livejournal.com profile] hamsterwoman where we talked a lot about education as well as various book and tv series.

Then I saw Kate Mulgrew at her SF book event! Words cannot describe how amazing she is in person (though I would not be the first person to try).  I was really glad my sister ended up going with me.  We both were just struck by her presence, her graciousness, how she manages to seem to elegant and yet approachable at the same time.  She has such a way with words,  in every sense.  It's her syntax and diction as well as her delivery. Also, my brain might have short circuited when Kate Mulgrew called ME a beauty, not once but twice! Fangirl down.

I also have made a lot of character development/outlining progress on my urban fantasy book (I think I am almost ready to start actually writing it) and made the decision to write a romance novel this summer. That is not to say I don't have a lot of fanfiction also on the horizon (I also need to make a post covering everything I've written in the last 6 months to a year).

TV wise, I haven't watched Daredevil yet, but I am really enjoying izombie and its familiar rhythm.  I'm still watching Castle, Elementary, Arrow, and The Flash.  Nothing is really gripping me (at least nothing from this year, I'm still intensely in a Voyager space and having a bit of a Veronica Mars renaissance).   I haven't even watched any of my comedies this year. Actually that's a lie... I was really into Selfie and then they fucking cancelled it.

I have six and a half weeks left of work for this school year.  It's been sort of an anticlimactic work year. I guess that's a sign I'm no longer a newbie.  I also will get permanent status after my first day back at work next year, so yay to that.
lodessa: lol (Default)
So I was thinking about representation and writing and fandom's "beige dick" (white boy slash) problem... and then I found myself considering my own writing habits. So I went through all 159 fics/ficlets I have posted to AO3 and came up with some numbers. I write mostly het but I was curious to see just how pale my fic was.

Overall Stats )
Looking by fandom specifically (I only included those with five or more fics posted) )

In conclusion: Generally speaking I have gotten better at being less white (except the whole ASOIAF situation and that's more a fandom choice situation) but I still tend to pair with my POCs with white characters and I definitely could do with writing more femslash. Really though, it does tend to be about who my OTC happens to be (which is probably not as "random" as I'd think) and who I ship them with. I don't seem to write about women of color nearly as often as men of color, either.
lodessa: lol (firefly/serenity)
2014 Writing a Meme (Stealing from [personal profile] sophia_helix , since I finally wrote again this year)

Here We Go )
lodessa: lol (firefly/serenity)
I made a fanmix. Well, to be more accurate, I finished a fanmix I'd mostly created over the summer. The original idea was to have all the songs be from the timeframe where Voyager was airing, but I broke that rule on a couple of the songs eventually... because I am weak willed.

Redacted from lodessa on 8tracks Radio.

Thanks to [livejournal.com profile] hamsterwoman , I was able to read Foxglove Summer last week, which (like the other Rivers of London novels) I quite enjoyed.

lodessa: lol (Default)
You know, I really like Deep Space Nine, but I do have a problem with the way the relationship plot lines end up. That is that both of the female characters end up being awarded to dudes who waited in the end. This narrative is toxic because it is what creates the false expectations of “nice guys” and their rage and bitterness over “the friendzone”.

I want to make it clear that I don’t think that either Julian Bashir or Odo is an asshole “nice guy”. I simply think their plotlines, especially combined, give the wrong impression about how things work.

Specific Discussion Under the Cut )

These narratives are all too common in our fiction and they make it obvious why boys and men are so confused when it doesn’t work out like that for them. They’ve put in the time and energy, why isn’t doing “the right thing” working out like it does in text and on screen.
lodessa: lol (Default)
So I've been thinking a lot about perspective and desire objects and the psychology of it all. Mainly, I guess, I have been thinking about how my wiring, so to speak, has changed over the last few years when it comes to what/who I find attractive (especially in terms of objectifying actors etc).
Actual Discussion Under the Cut )
lodessa: do not want (doctor who)
So today I was driving to work and I was thinking about Star Trek (like always these days) and I was thinking about the Cardassians, the Federation treaty with them, the Maquis, the Bajorans, and Chakotay (of course).

Maybe it is telling of my background that I can never think of the Cardassian occupation of Bajor, with its camps and its medical experimentation on prisoners, without thinking about Nazis and the Holocaust.

Of course, they are not the Cardassia's only casualties.

I started to think about who would choose to be colonists, to build their lives from nothing, to assume the risk. You have to be dissatisfied with your life back on Earth or wherever else you were before. You have to feel like there isn't room for the future you want there. I have to think that this would probably include a lot of mariginalized people/groups. I feel like Chakotay's tribe situation (stereotype problems aside) bears this theory out. Of course people who have faced systematic annihilation, oppression, and cultural erasure would be attracted to the idea of escaping the clutches of the culture that has done all this. So who else was out there in those colonies that the Federation was willing to sell out to the Cardassians? Were there disabled communities who carved a space out for themselves? Non-binary safe spaces? A new Jewish homeland?

Might they not all say "Never again"?

I always feel that it was a lost opportunity to have the "face" of the Maquis on DS9, the person who gives the whole speech about the Federation's hypocrisy when it comes to the Maquis, be a boring white male human. (Sure Cassidy sides with them but then they never talk about why.) On Voyager, we get Chakotay and B'Elanna (a man of color and a mixed species woman of color). We know their stories, the way that B'Elanna especially felt like an outsider. Still, the Maquis thing is mostly played down... another wasted opportunity. These only actual Maquis characters were also part of Starfleet beforehand. For a show that started out with the premise that two opposing groups were going to have to find out how to work together, there are only a few episodes where it even seems like an issue. None of the Starfleet characters ever acknowledge that maybe they were wrong or sorry. None of the Maquis talk about why they chose to fight. No one's reasons are ever discussed... on either side.

All of this is to say, I sort of spent all morning thinking about a family of colonists, where the mother is a Jewish human and the father is a Bajoran refugee and all of their daughters choose different paths (One who rejected her heritage and left to join Starfleet like Chakotay, but like him couldn't sit back and watch. One who learned the teachings of her mother's people and the situation of her father's and ran off to join the Bajoran resistance. One who stayed home only to have it ripped from her.) but all end up making the choice to come home and fight for their home and their people as Maquis. Also making up details about their colony and some of the neighboring ones and the relations between them.

I am alive

Oct. 5th, 2014 06:01 pm
lodessa: lol (firefly/serenity)
Not sure who (if anyone is) still around here at the journal sites, but I was missing them recently and decided to post an update.

I am still alive and almost a quarter of the way through my fourth year of teaching.

I also have had a fannish resurgence. Apparently I just needed to watch a 19 year old show (Star Trek: Voyager) and get super obsessed with a ship who I will never get to see kiss outside photo manips (Janeway/Chakotay).

So that's what I have been up to.

On the other hand it means I have been writing again. Obviously a lot of Voyager fic, but also some other fandoms... and even some cowritten stuff:

Stark Trek: Voyager

Like the Real Thing, Janeway/Chakotay, Explicit
Janeway and Chakotay both resort to extreme measures in trying to address the unspoken attraction between them. It backfires.

All That's Steel and Stone, Janeway/Chakotay, Teen
Scorpion meta-fic. Chakotay's experience of the events of Scorpion, Parts 1 & 2.

No Match for the Air, Janeway/Chakotay, Explicit
Post- Scorpion Smut. Follow up to "All That's Steel and Stone".

Not Alone, Janeway/Chakotay, General
One of many things Janeway wants but doesn't think she can have on board Voyager.

Starfleet and Maquis, Janeway/Chakotay, Explicit
Janeway and Chakotay decide to switch up a little bedroom roleplay.

Why Janeway and Chakotay Can't Share the Couch, Janeway/Chakotay, Explicit
Five times they slipped up.

Kathy Loves Chuckles, Janeway/Chakotay, Explicit
Q decides to take a turn at playing matchmaker.

Politically Incorrect, Janeway/Chakotay, Explicit
Being mistaken for a couple by an alien race causes Janeway to re-evaluate her relationship with Chakotay.

Waterfall, Janeway/Chakotay, Explicit Cowritten
Shameless PWP

Ever Fixed Mark, Janeway/Chakotay, Explicit Cowritten
Pre-Endgame fix-it fic. You can read this as an AU or as something that happened and then was hidden by Janeway and Chakotay when the Admiral showed up right afterwards for strategic reasons.

Voyager High, Ensemble with Janeway/Chakotay leanings as well as other ships, Teen Multi-Chapter WIP: 6 / 14 Chapters Complete
Under the leadership of Principal Kathryn Janeway and Vice Principal Chakotay, the teachers of Voyager High and Maquis Charter Academy are faced with the difficult challenge of integrating into one school staff. High School Teacher AU

A Song of Ice and Fire/Game of Thrones

Against a Wall, Jaime/Brienne, Teen
Jaime's attempts to court Brienne are misinterpreted.

No Longer the Maid of Tarth, Jaime/Brienne, Explicit
Wedding Night PWP

After Life, Cersei/Brienne, Explicit
Cersei comes to Tarth looking for asylum following Jaime's death and Danaerys' ascent to the throne.

Veronica Mars

Bathroom Tile, Logan/Weevil, Explicit
Logan and Weevil find themselves back in the Neptune High bathroom together at the reunion.

Getting in Character, Veronica/Weevil, Explicit
Veronica needs some help practicing an undercover role. Weevil is happy to help.

One Last Gift, Veronica/Weevil with some Logan/Weevil and Logan/Veronica, Mature
Bodyswap fic.

Dresden Files

5 Times Harry Dresden and Karrin Murphy Were Interrupted Making Out, Harry/Murphy, Explicit
... and one time they weren't

The Smallest Closet in the World, Harry/Murphy, Explicit
Harry and Murphy are trapped together in a closet...

Almost Human

5 Times John and Dorian Didn't Take Their Relationship to the Next Level, John/Dorian, Explicit
... And what happened when they did.


Yom Kippur, Chanukah, and Purim Felicity/Oliver, Teen
Often Felicity fails at celebrating Jewish holidays, but eventually she succeeds accidently.


It Was Only A Kiss, Robert Beltran/Kate Mulgrew, Explicit Cowritten
Kate's decision to host a party for her costars goes in a direction she didn't expect. Voyager-filming era fic.

Got Me Losing It, Robert Beltran/Kate Muglew, Explicit Cowritten
After a night of passion, Kate has to face reality as her brand new affair quickly spirals out of control. Follow to to "It Was Only a Kiss".

Timeless, Robert Beltran/Kate Mulgrew, Explicit Cowritten
Robert stops by Kate's to congratulate her on her Emmy Nomination

Caretaker, Robert/Beltran/Kate Mulgrew, Explicit Cowritten
Post 2014 Emmys Comfort Fic. Follow up to "Timeless"
lodessa: lol (Default)
Dear purimgifts author,

I hope the below rambles help you get a sense of my interests and inspire you to write something you enjoy.

The below sections mention a lot of ways to include Judaism into stories. It is by no means necessary or expected that you will do that in order to make me happy with the results. Honestly, anything about the characters listed would make me happy.

details )
lodessa: bitches can walk (t:scc)
After an incredibly long and stressful four day work week, this weekend is going pretty well.

Yesterday I met up for a long overdue multi-hour chat session with [personal profile] hamsterwoman dominated by conversations about Babylon 5, the Vorkosigan Saga, The Dresden Files, and the general state of urban fantasy. As always, meeting up with [personal profile] hamsterwoman was great and the weather was crystal clear, beautiful, and mild. Sorry to everyone who is not in California. Then I headed out to the East Bay to meet up with my siblings, only to have my brother have forgotten we were hanging out and therefore be in my area hanging out with friends instead of home. As a result, I had to wait around for a while for my sister to get off work from her job as a "Magic Princess" (which resulted in painting my nails blue for the first time in over a decade) and then we had Mexican food, while I convinced her friend to come play Warhammer 40K with my husband.

Today, my brother was supposed to make up forgetting our plans by helping me clean out the TV studio at work and figure out some of the finer points of Final Cut this morning, but of course he overslept and by the time I managed to wake him up by calling repeatedly, it was time to start my food plans for tonight. (I have decided it is high time I start trying all the great looking recipes that I pin on Pinterest. Especially since no one in my household can get enough of the Mexican Stuffed Shells I tried a few months back off of there.) As I type I am waiting for my rolls to rise.

Today's menu consists of Parmesan Breaded Chicken, Scalloped Sundried Tomato Pesto Potatoes ,
Broccoli Cauliflower Casserole
, Homemade Crescent Rolls, and the dark chocolate cake from The Weeknight Cook (Which is a great cookbook I want to give everyone now!)

I also am planning on making Chicken Tikka Masala and Homemade Naan for dinner tomorrow and Roasted Red Pepper and Goat Cheese Alfredo with the breaded chicken from today and steamed asparagus on Wednesday. (Our friend/roommate generally cooks Tuesdays and Thursdays.)

(Hurray for therapeutic stress cooking!)
lodessa: lol (Default)
I got a little carried away with responding to a meme in which [personal profile] sophia_helix requested Dresden Files: Harry/Murphy with truth or dare.

Title: Truth or Dare
Fandom: The Dresden Files
Pairing: Harry/Murphy
Characters: Harry, Murphy, Molly, Thomas, Ramirez, Sanya, Elaine
Rating: Teen
Words: 1089
Summary: In which a bunch of adults play truth or dare and it plays out pretty much the same as when teenagers do.

Fic Here
lodessa: brienne, the loathly maiden (asoiaf)
Things I have been watching:

(all of)
White Collar
Dance Academy

(some of)
Teen Wolf
Downton Abbey

(that are new)
Major Crimes
lodessa: do not want (doctor who)
Title: This is How it Works
Fandom: Law and Order: UK RPF
Characters: Jamie Bamber, Freema Agyeman
Pairing: Freema Agyeman/Jamie Bamber
Rating: Adult
Word Count: 5,155
Author's Notes: It was July 24th, 2008, when I first claimed I was going to write this fic.
Disclaimer: This whole thing is LIES.

Another long shower was a good time for Freema to try and convince herself that it was for the best, that she wasn't a romance novel heroine, that she didn't wish Bamber was in the shower with her.
lodessa: bitches can walk (t:scc)
As some of you may or may not know, I have been collecting/playing Warhammer 40K for about four years. Some of you may even know what Warhammer 40K is. Many of you probably don't. Warhammer is a stupidly expensive tabletop miniature game that requires you to buy, paint, and build many many models before you even start playing. My now-husband has been playing the 40K (aka sci-fi) version of this game since long long before we met (the company, Games Workshop, makes three versions. The other two are the original fantasy version and a Lord of the Ring one). So being the nerdy significant other I am, I started out deciding I was just going to paint a box of models that looked cool, it would help us bond right? Well since then I have been painting and playing (he does the super gluing because I generally just end up attaching the models to my hands instead of themselves) and I now have over $500 worth of Chaos Daemon models. They look pretty good and I do decently playing against my husband and our friends with them. However, every time I buy more models I sort of feel conflicted because there is a lot I hate about Games Workshop as a company.

There are a lot of reasons that Games Workshop is sort of a shitty company. One is that they keep raising their already overpriced models, despite having just posted RECORD PROFIT NUMBERS. When I started playing in spring of 2008, a regular box with ten little plastic troop models was $22. It is now $29 and I expect it will continue to rise every six months to a year as it has over the last four years. People like to justify that the profit comes from their quickly expanding videogame ip... money they make for simply licensing existing ip concepts. But let us admit that there is no way that their costs to make the models have gone up that much, especially since they are now making more and model of the models in plastic instead of metal. And, like any person who has ever taken econ as a senior in high school knows, when prices rise demand goes down. If they dropped their prices even 15% they would probably double the amount they could sell. And the more people get into the miniatures, the more of a built in audience there is for the videogames and the more money they make for free off that. No, its just an elitist and greedy model.

But honestly, this isn't why I feel like a traitor plunking down my money to buy their product. The reason that I feel like that is because they are pretty much the worst kind of nerd culture misogynists. Almost all of their models are male models targeted at a male audience ( Dudes, LOVE Space Marines... seriously HALF of the forces you can play in 40K fall into this exclusively male category) , with a few bikini clad babes thrown into select forces (These are the IMPROVED version). There are a select few exceptions (The Eldar [Spaces Elves] have one elite choice that is female and clothed!) and one time they put out one crappy version of a force called Sisters of Battle, which turned into a mostly male force and now no longer exists pretty much. I play the Chaos Daemon force.. which has one female unit (which is skantily clad but in a somewhat grotesque demonic looking way?) and some that are androgynous. There is also the the Tyranid force, which is insectoid and therefore don't present as male or female. There are a LOT of completely male presented forces including alien races and the "human" force which is called the Imperial Guard, which has a couple of female stand alone models but none in their regular troops nevermind, they discontinued the female model.

Cue the "women just don't buy our stuff" (oh really, maybe that is because you don't seem to want them as customers) or "It would break the lore" (add better lore!) or "it would be too expensive" (Somehow, I can't see how when you make a new model for something not making it exclusively male would be more money). Or you know, how women are oppressing them with their desire to be represented or acknowledged as a customer base, etc.

The local nerd store we go to (not the jerk one in town, the one close by) is probably the most friendly (both in general and towards women gamers) that I have ever been in. The employees and owner always say hi and chat with you. However, the owner has repeatedly responded to my choice of army by commenting on how women seem to always play Daemons or Eldar (wow the two viable armies that have more than one or two female models!) and clearly does not connect those dots whatsoever. And I feel like that is pretty indicative of the problem... in the best case scenarios. Obviously there are worse "stop your whiny bitching/stop girlifying our game/ruining everything forever!!!!" responses.

I am not totally sure what I am going to do. I probably am going to still buy the products to finish my army (SO CLOSE!). However, I do have plans to make an all female army using their Imperial guard rules (and none of their models!) if I can actually find appropriate models from ANY company that aren't super expensive because they are intended to be one model out of a hundred (because Games Workshop is in no way alone in this).

PS. In the Relic made MMO based off their fantasy version, on the Chaos side you could only play a female character if you were a caster or a skanky rogue. Seriously, in 2008/2009 I thought we were past restricting classes/roles based on gender in MMOs!

In conclusion, we love you Bioware?
lodessa: brienne, the loathly maiden (asoiaf)
So it is over halfway into February and I haven't posted in quite a while (I did start sort of using Tumblr though... same name there as here).

This year so far I have read 7 books and am not doing that great on any of my resolutions regarding reading. I have read one nonfiction book (and plan to read another three in the near future) but it was by a man (two of the three planned are by women!). Of the two books I have read with students, both were by white men. My pleasure reading was also by a white man (but he was queer so I get point for that in diversity bingo right?). I am currently reading three books by men with my students and a textbook whose author I think is a woman but am not sure.

Work is crazy as always. There is always more to do and never enough time, focus, or energy. I should be looking for a position for next year, in case I don't get to keep this one... but it is really hard to do that while working this job. Also I want to believe that I will get to stay.

I am partway through a fic, but rarely have time to work on it. Still, it is exciting to have written anything at all.

I miss you all.
lodessa: (sherlock - with the cheekbones)
So after writing for Yuletide for the first time ever, getting super into Sherlock, and just generally missing fandom... I am thinking it is time to reinvest. But I am also thinking it is time to possibly recenter onto Dreamwidth. I have been posting/crossposting from Dreamwidth for at least a year maybe more like two but I didn't bother to really find anyone or anything. No plans to stop crossposting, reading, or allowing comments on LJ but more just increasing reading and interacting on DW. So...

1) If you are on Dreamwidth let me know (I am the same on both sites). You can friend me of just give me your username.
2) What communities should I be reading or what exciting new people should I be following (either on LJ or DW)?
3) Is there something I should be into? (Strong preference for tv show or book series fandoms)


4) Please make ficlet requests. Feel free to ask for anything you think I might be familiar with (or just ask) and I will let you know if I am not. Fandom and character or pairing and any additional elements/details also would be nice.


lodessa: lol (Default)

March 2016



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