screw you

The other night I was in the grocery store with my father (the cashier totally thought we were a couple, ewwwww!) who had driven over to hang out because my siblings had left him all alone or something, and we were browsing the produce section (on our way to get carrots for dinner) when I saw them: pomegranates. Now usually grocery store pomegranates are a depressing thing, sad, small, and miscolored, but these were large, round, and ruby. I wanted one. And so, I got one (because I am a grown up and can buy expensive fruit even if I am there with my daddy). And it tasted like autumn and hope and dreamy innocence begging to be broken. There is no stranger or more evocative food in my mind.

As a child, there are specifically two places I remember pomegranates from. The first, was the Thanksgiving type dinner for my pre-school, where they were center places that you then got to take home and eat. They were singular and rare and there was never enough.

The second is a bit more pastoral, more mythic. We lived in student family housing while I was growing up, and across the road from our complex were gardens (which could actually be rented per year for about what I pay a month for my cat these days I think) and they were a wonderful place for the kids in the area, riding bikes down paths and placing hide and seek among trees and tall grass. There was also a pomegranate tree. It might have been someone's or the lot might have been unrented at the time. But the tree was there, and I remember grasping the precious fruit (more so because it was rare, so seasonal) and eating it on shortening fall afternoons with the other kids, hands sticky and red. If I ever have the yard for it, I'd like to have a pomegranate tree. I hope the neighbor kids or my nieces and nephews will find something in it's branches to dwell on.

Pomegranates are seasonal, a fruit for the fall, for the darkening days of the descent into winter. Every seed is like a jewel as you peel back layers of covering to reveal them. Being a hopeless idealist in some ways, I cannot help but see them layered in myth, the delicate indulgence that damned Persephone forever. And that is part of their charm. Bloody and vibrant, they seem a harbinger of awakening sexuality. Perhaps it all ties in with the encroaching winter. The pomegranate comes before darker days, but it is in some primal way. Some sort of promise of death and rebirth. Of course it is the fruit of knowledge of good and evil, the tempting unknown that would start mankind down a path of joys and heartbreak.

Given all this, how could I not smile sadly, like the heroine of some great epic, when staring down at my sticky hands, the sweet and sour juices staining them. I'm ready for what comes next, I've been through the darkness before and I'll be there on the other side.

Occasionally in the last year, too tired to deal with CD changes I have listened to the radio in the morning on the way to work. This is of course a terrible time to listen (not that there is ever a good time) because all the stations have their annoying morning shows so you can't even listen to the terrible overplayed music. However, I have noticed a change in the composition of this terrible institution since the last time I was listening to the radio (about a decade ago). In addition to the male (mostly guy's guy but with cracks of desirable softness) and the female (feminine but the sort of chick that hangs out with the boys and talks like she isn't into the complicated girl drama or whatever) they have now added a gay guy... because that's apparently a different gender or something. Now on the one hand, yay being gay is obviously more mainstream, but listening to five minutes of the persona they are representing forces me to conclude that possibly the world is scarier than ever. These guys are inevitably shallow, stupid, and emasculated. They are the worst sort of stereotype and seriously probably worse than nothing.

On the bright side. Listening to the radio reminded me of Junior High and how I used to write these amazing RFP future fics in which I was famous and successful (read: a famous actress, author, and designer) and would encounter all the people I currently knew and the ones I was mad at would have terrible futures and miserable fates and all my crushes would be madly in love with me and basically it was all amazingly indulgent wish fulfillment. I suspect that I am not the only one to have done this. Possibly most people didn't write them out but we all fantasize about these kind of things. I do have a point: Let's all write what we think our favorite characters' fantasies about the future would look like. Characters that are teenagers in the canon are probably going to be the easiest (Veronica Mars, Harry Potter, Buffy, etc.) but I'm sure there are others that would work as well (Ugly Betty maybe since they all act like they are twelve half the time?).

Looking towards the future, I took the CBEST on Saturday. Since for whatever reason I am not doing what I would need to in order to do a PhD program because maybe I don't really want it as much as I thought and honestly doing so isn't exactly a brilliant career move, I am moving on and I think that forcing Romeo and Juliet down the throats of 14 year olds, giving them vocab test, and grading their terrible papers would probably suit me surprisingly well and there is always a need teachers. So if all goes according to plan I will be starting Sac State teaching credential program in January (and if not then next fall) and finishing in Spring of 2010 either way.

Friday was Jeremy's birthday. I gave him a blue ipod nano. He named it Malcolm (as in Malcolm Reynolds).

sophia_helix and actoplasm came over for the birthday dinner. I made peach pork chops(a chicken variation for sophia_helix) and twice baked potatoes. It turned out really well. ( Details under the cut. )

1) I am really behind on my flist, but I had a great weekend:

a) Geeky Friday night of BSG and World of Warcraft with Jeremy and my brother.
b) Delicious homemade Macaroni and Cheese I had been craving but not making for a while.
c) A state of the union conversation with Jeremy that actually went somewhere.
d) Actually doing the laundry Saturday morning, and folding it.
e) Udon, Tempura, and Pot Stickers with Jeremy and sophia_helix for Saturday's late lunch.
f) Some walking around on a beautiful Saturday afternoon, mocking the drunk undergrads.
g) Delicious boysenberry frozen yogurt topped with cookie dough, marshmallows, bits of waffle cone, and fresh raspberries.
h) Going to the used bookstore and buying (or rather letting Jeremy buy me): William Gibson's Idoru, Neil Stephenson's Snowcrash (because my lovely early 90s copy disappeared a while back), Orson Scott Card's Ender's Game (which our copy of has also wandered off), Kurt Vonnegut Jr.'s Deadeye Dick, and a copy of Sartre's The Wall which was translated by Lloyd Alexander.
i) sainfoin_fields arriving so that we could go to a show in the city that evening.
j) Quality time with Jeremy while sophia_helix and sainfoin_fields went to the movies.
k) Getting to the show at just the right time, Desa being great as ever, and Facing New York going predatory and completely draining my soul with their amazingness and seeming more awake than I have seen them in a long time. Also their being symbolic of everything about Contemporary Art(no matter the discipline) as a whole.
l) Art is not a science.
m) Cheese fries and mozzarella sticks at Denny's to recharge after the soul exfoliation.
n) Getting up at 9:15 Sunday morning, despite not getting home until 3:30 and reading Fables: Volume 9 and 1001 Nights of Snowfall while waiting for sainfoin_fields to wake up.
o) Successful shopping trip for the beginning of sainfoin_fields new wardrobe, in which she actually ended up with more stuff than sophia_helix and I, rather than the reverse.
p) Surprise date night with Jeremy, which included tasty fake Mexican and a margarita which ended up excitingly since I had failed to eat anything during the day.
q) Actually getting a full night's sleep for the first Sunday in ages.


2) I'm also behind on my TV, 2 weeks behind on Doctor Who and still haven't watched any of the NBC stuff since it returned. I am up to date on BSG and Bones though.

3) Why has no one ever mentioned to me the fact that 100 Years of Solitude is the most incest filled book ever?

4) I need a beta for a ASOIAF fic. It's Jaime/Brienne.

1) If you like either Sarah Silverman or Matt Damon at all: you'll want to watch this.

2) This weekend we were at the mall and we went to the Cheesecake Factory and I indulged and had my beloved Fried Macaroni and Cheese (really rich mac and cheese rolled into balls and covered in breading like mozzarella sticks) and a Georgia Peach(both beautiful and delicious). So many strikes against my diet and or health but so perfectly wonderful at the same time. If you ever end up at a Cheesecake Factory you really do want to try both.

3)( Another Poll to Help Cull Icons from Overrepresented Fandoms )

Friday night I decided to make some homemade pizza for my boyfriend and a couple of friends. I hadn't made pizza in years (like at least 6) and all my cookbooks were packed for tomorrow's move so I couldn't even look up a safe recipe in my faithful Betty Croker Red Cookbook. So I looked at some internet recipes and picked one that looked basic enough to be safe. It turned out to be fast and tasty so with a few modifications I would recommend it to you. Homemade pizza is cheaper and healthier than pre-made and I think when we have our housewarming party I am just going to make a ton of dough and ask people to bring their preferred toppings.

Ingredients

3 Cups of All Purpose Flour (Could substitute Whole Wheat)
1 Tsp of Salt (use more, this was the main complaint we had with the crust)
2 Tbl of Olive Oil
2 Tbl of Sugar
1 packed of Dry Active Yeast
1 1/2 Cups of Water
Can of Tomato Paste
Oregano
Basil (better if fresh but dried will do)
1 Cup of Mozzarella grated
Any desired toppings such as pepperoni or peppers (optional)

Serves 4/Makes 2 Pizzas


Cooking Instructions

1) Combine Salt and Flour, mix.

2) In a separate bowl, mix sugar and yeast.

3) Add sugar/yeast mixture and oil to flour mixture.

4) Add water and knead together until consistent.

4) Leave dough in an oiled bowl with a towel over the top until it doubles in size.

5) Punch dough down.

6) Wait 10 minutes and then divide into two and roll dough out into desired pizza shape.

7) Put on pan and spread tomato paste over dough.

8) Add Basil and Oregano.

9) Cover with Mozzarella and any desired toppings

10) Let bake at 450 F until crust is cooked and cheese is melted (10-15 minutes)



The only part of this that is at all tough is waiting for the dough to rise. The actual active prep time is almost nothing.

So Thursday night after working our for almost an hour and a half after work I got home intending to make pasta bolegnese but then I discovered the ground beef in the refrigerator had been there too long. So I decided to make a pink sauce or cheese sauce of some sort instead... except then I went to go grab the pasta and we had enough for maybe one person. My blood sugar was really getting low and the workout high was fading. Despairing and light headed with hunger the boyfriend and I decided to go out and get food.

It was after 9 so we had to make a decision quick... I suggested Thai but we were both too hungry for him to feel at all adventurous. We went to our local somewhat pretentious but tasty food and really strong drinks restaurant (located in the building that used to be the police station and before that was city hall... the current city hall used to be the high school as well). I'll admit that often I just have the cheeseburger and fries there because it is really good. The burger has actual good sharp cheddar on it and the fries are thin and crispy just like I like them. Fries are totally not on my current diet though, and if I was going to indulge it might as well be in something more exciting than that. I nearly ordered the mushroom ravioli but they were served in a ginger cream sauce and I tend to get a headache if I have fresh ginger. I think it is a mild allergy. So instead I settled on the Chicken Pesto Goat Cheese Pizza with the Peppers.

It was a good choice. The pizza crust was more like naan or some other sort of flatbread. The goat cheese was diluted a little with mozzarella and wonderfully savory with just a hint of that delightful sourness that is characteristic of goat cheese. The pesto was both covering and emphasizing the other flavors and the red bell peppers, which are usually something I don't like, contrasted perfectly. The chicken was understated and absorbed the flavor around it without fighting it. The whole thing was rich and delicious. Also, having looked up all the calorie values it wasn't as bad as I might have expected calorie-wise because a little of any of those flavors goes a long way. Also it would have been really easy to substitute out the chicken to make vegetarian or peppers if you disliked them. I think I may try and replicate it at home and I will definitely order it again. It was that good.

Below is a recipe for the pizza (as I estimate it).

Well I'm back home at last and I might make a post about the second half of my trip at some point but there is job applying to do so I will just say the most important things:

1)Thank you so much to adelynne and her boy for being wonderful hosts when I was in Boston. I had so much fun and felt so welcomed and comfortable. Seriously on about Thursday my mom asked me if it was getting awkward because staying with people usually does at that point and I honestly could answer that it hadn't. I greatly enjoyed the apple picking, and indian food, and playing settlers, and watching VM with your Carnegie Mellon posse in Boston, and starting to write meta, and discovering that we are cylons.

2)Thanks to starrysummer for hanging out with me 3 out of my 4 days in New York. It was so awesome getting to hang out with you and plotting to get sionnain to read SoIaF so she'll write Littlefinger/Sansa and going out and being bought lots and lots of drinks by random men in bars and shoe shopping and amazing crossover bunnies and watching VM together and the going on thehunt for the perfect gold eyeshadow and everything.

3)Thank you to sophia_helix for picking me up from the airport upon my return, venturing to Ross with me, tivoing all my crack for me while I was gone, going bar hopping with me Friday night, spending the rest of the weekend tv watching with me, and overall just being awesome.

4)And last but not least, yay for hobviously visting this weekend and sharing her flying bison dvds and eating fancy french cheese and yummy bread and pasta salad with us being the most lovable of drunks.

Also. I missed my cat A LOT. *hearts;