Higher Aspirations

[lodessa]

Last night I had a complete meltdown in therapy about the habituation I've fallen into and the way I am not dealing with writing my writing sample of statements of purpose for graduate school. I came to the conclusion that mostly I needed to stop breaking my own schedule and that Jeremy and I need to be harder on each other about doing what we say we are going to.

Today I looked at my latest pay stub and realized I have two weeks worth of vacation time saved up. I am of two/three minds about that fact:

1) If I don't use my vacation when I leave I get all that money paid out and saving would result in about a month's worth of pay by July.

2) Once the Christmas Rush is over Jeremy and I could use that time to go on an actual Vacation.

3) I could take some time off and use it to work on my graduate school applications. I really don't have as much time for them as I always think I will while working full time.



[Poll #1085769]

Comments

[sophia-helix.livejournal.com]

I think you have enough time to get them done, especially on weekends, and that the best uses of that vacation time are to be either totally relaxing or having the money. If you take the time but have to spend it all stressing out over writing applications you will feel frustrated, especially if it takes you a while to get going on doing the apps and so you're watching the clock/days tick by. I think giving time to yourself as a reward in December for getting it finished would be better.

[lodessa.livejournal.com]

You are probably right, but I guess my issue is that work is emotionally/psychologically draining so by the time I get home I am totally wiped and have no energy.

[sophia-helix.livejournal.com]

No, I know just how you feel... but remember that week I randomly took off in July? It only worked for me because I literally did nothing and checked out for a while. I also think you might find yourself still procrastinating because you really want to do nothing, not just another kind of work, and then you'll get stressed out over that. I still like our plan of trying to make ourselves do work together (we could even hit the campus library or something and borrow A's laptop for you), and I think weekends are going to be the key time for you, sadly. Saturday's when you've got free times, right?

[syderia]

If you really thinks that you need that extra-time to deal with your applications, and that you won't be able to do it otherwise, then go on, take that week off and do it.

But I think vacation time is better used for a vacation, or for the money.

[lodessa.livejournal.com]

It's more about work sapping my energy than actual time.

[silver-fic.livejournal.com]

If you are honestly worried that you won't have time in your regulars schedule to get them done, then maybe you should, but if you can find some way to fit them in, then you can either keep the money or use them as a reward once you finally get the applications done.

[lodessa.livejournal.com]

It's not so much that there isn't technically time, but more than I am drained and brain dead by the time 5PM rolls around after dealing with work all day.

[silver-fic.livejournal.com]

Understandable

[hamsterwoman]

If it's really time and energy that's preventing you from getting them done while working, then taking some time to work on them may help... but if it's a question of getting the applications prioritized among other non-work things -- i.e. if you're thinking of taking time off to *force* yourself to do the applications -- not sure if that would be effective. If that's the case, I second/third the "vacation as reward for getting it done" idea.

[lodessa.livejournal.com]

Energy more than time.

It's like I use all my discipline up at work and by the time I get home I collapse into a pile of goo.

Of course there is also my anxiety about the whole thing which leads me to self sabotage.

[hobviously.livejournal.com]

Taking a week off to work on your shit would be good, but you have to be honest with yourself as to whether you will really use it that way.

[lodessa.livejournal.com]

Well it would be the week right before things start being due... so wort of more up against the wall.

[hella-em.livejournal.com]

are you really going to work on them? or will it turn into one of those "i don't want to do anything" times. and then the afternoon before you're to go back to wirk you'll frantically scramble to get something done and that will only send you back more harried than when you left.

what about a compromise - like take 2 or 3 days off (friday and monday kinda thing). that way you can veg a day, prepare, and then have the other day and weekend to write. even if all you end up with is an outline, the hardest parts will be over. and thanksgiving is such a perfect time 'cause you already have a few days off anyway right...so adda few more and there you go - but then will you be wrapped up in family stuff all weekend? maybe you should do it the following week.

sometimes we just need a day off to get us started, i take a day once in a while (i wear all black and my red lipstick) and then i'm back and refreshed and ready to work. maybe that's all you need. stupid work making you stressed and tired. it wants to be abandoned.

[lodessa.livejournal.com]

Honestly this is just a big undertaking and if I don't get it done by then (which isn't looking likely) I am going to have to take the time off or give up.

[hella-em.livejournal.com]

well you can't give up!

[lodessa.livejournal.com]

Nope. I hate office work too much for that.

[hella-em.livejournal.com]

that's the spirit!

[lodessa.livejournal.com]

So stressful though.