screw you

So I've been thinking about shipping and I thought I'd give everyone unasked for information about my opinions on who goes well with whom and who does not. So here I go:

Harry: Well it's kind of funny but I really don't find myself shipping Harry with anyone. I don't object to Harry/Luna but I don't feel drawn to it. Ginny is so past Harry and really above him when i comes to relationships at this point. I can see him randomly deciding dating her would be a good idea but I don't think she'd be interested at this point. I don't like intragenerational ships... I think they are squicky so I of course disapprove of snape/harry, lupin/harry and sirius/harry, not to mention that I dont think any of these ships have plausibility or interest. Draco/Harry just really doesn't do anything for me. Most of the time people make it fluffy, which makes me wonder why they paired him with someone he hates if they were just going to make them skip through fields of flowers. Dark angsty Harry/Draco is much better but I just really think that Harry doesn't seem to interested in Draco in the canon later on. Like in CoS he is but by OotP Draco is really not even on his radar unless he's right in his face. Draco being obsessed with Harry is totally plausible to me but Harry being into Draco is not so much. Harry/Weasleys in general just seems mildly incestuous and I just don't like it. The only place I like my incest is in the Black family thank you very much.

Hermione: Well Hermione and Ron is canon. Pretty straightforward for that one. I think they have to get together at some time, whether they stay together or not, because jkr has made it obvious they both want each other. Other than that I really don't see Hermione with any major character but I think she'd make a fabulous lesbian and have paired her with Susan Bones of Hufflepuff, whom we know almost nothing about but might guess a bit from the description of her aunt in OotP who is said to be very impartial and just and we have an overall likable feeling of her competency and humanity. I see Susan much along those lines. She's the intellectual Hufflepuff to me, just like Hermione is the intellectual in Gryffindor. As far as female characters we actually have a sense of go I really just don't see any chemistry in the book between Ginny and Hermione (although I am perfectly willing to believe she could swing both ways). Tonks just seems a personality mismatch as does Luna. Part of the reason I see Hermione as turning to girls in the first place is that I just think she will get sick of boys and their moronicness and want someone who is more her equal.

Ron: Well I've already explained Ron/Hermione so I won't go into that. Ron is the straightest character in the entire series in my opinion. He is the king of straight people. So this leaves us with not so many really important canon characters to pair him with. I personally think Luna has a crush on Ron but he doesn't seem to be very fond of her so that's a no go. Ginny is his sister and Weasleycest just doesn't do it for me. Strangely enough I think the only character we have any information on really that we can pair Ron with is Cho. Now all of fandom hates Cho of course but I see a possible redemptive quality in Ron/Cho. Ron, I think, would really thrive under her need for reassurance and a sort of manly protector figure boyfriend (especially if he's just had a messy breakup with the very independent Hermione). Cho just seems so ridiculously feminine and I think that works for Ron with his insecurities and straightness.

Ginny: Ginny is awesome and can have anyone she wants as of OotP. I don't see her dating Draco. I mean he's always insulting her family...how much of a turn on is that. Not too big of one in my humble opinion. I don't think Ginny would want a whiny little bitch like Draco even if he didn't insult her family though. Harry she's so over. I refuse to pair her with people twice her age (Snape, Lupin etc.). I let her have any random character mentioned in one like of the story. Ginny/Luna possibly has interesting possibilities since we know they are friends and both seem open minded enough not to worry about traditional boundary lines. My favorite ship for her right now is Neville/Ginny though. Both characters start out seeming kind of pathetic but have gotten totally competent and keep improving with book. I think it would be great for Ginny to really confirm Neville's value by choosing him over Harry. I also think Neville would be a really great boyfriend, being the sort of Hufflepuff-ish Gryffindor. In general it just seems so healthy and endearing. I think this would be a great ship for fluff or for angst if you want them to work through issues of insecurity and not feeling good enough.

Snape: Snape I think belongs with an OC. There is no one in canon that really seems to fit right. However I think Snape/McGonagall has definite possibility in concept although it's impossible to write as I learned when I tried. Snape is way too self contained to ever have a relationship with one of his students so the younger generation is out. If you INSIST on pairing him with a marauder then I think Lupin had the most potential since he's the most versatile one...also the one still living. They also share the shameful secret that everyone knows anyway issue.

Lupin: Lupin is one of the easiest characters to pair people with. He's just so likable and so human. People have suggested Lupin/Tonks and I think it could be possible that might work but I don't know how much to give it as I haven't read anything that stood out. Sirius/Lupin is not canon as some people seem to think and it's not a ship I particularly like. Sirius definitely doesn't seem in love with Lupin in the canon so at most it seems unrequited affection could be conceptualized. But even if I thought it was possible for them to have a relationship, Sirius/Lupin fics tend to be the most boring variety of fluffy smut ever. I've actually read some really sweet teen Lupin having a crush on McGonagall and that's always fun. See Lupin is so easy to pair with people but nothing is really that striking with him.

Sirius: My OTP is totally Sirius/Bellatrix but I pretty much like any Blackcest pairing, though more with the Black sisters than Regulus who just seems boring. Don't make me pair him with anyone he isn't related to though or I'll cry.

Draco: Is a whiny brat and I really don't care who he gets involved with. It seems pretty obvious from my previous statements that he doesn't go with anyone important. I like Draco so much more in angsty character fics than shipping fics.


I know there are more characters but I am getting too tired. Comment if you have a ship that matters to you and I'll probably rip it apart but I might adore it.